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She endured her partner’s violence for six months, before they had to move back to her mother’s house. “If an abuser knows that you’ve stayed through the mental and emotional abuse, they are going to take their chances and see whether you’ll stay through the physical abuse too.” She has no contact with her former partner now. She is on Facebook, and her partner constantly watches her posts and messages she gets from other people.
“I took a safety order out because he kept threatening to kill me.” Despite the violence, “I still missed him”, she says. He sits right next to her when she is on Facebook or on Snapchat and if he notices that a guy is paying attention to her or complimenting her or ‘likes’ any of her pictures, he will immediately get on his phone, find the guy and tell him to back off from ‘his girlfriend’.” “Speaking to a younger audience, if someone wants you all to themselves, that should be a red flag.
“He should also be open to the idea of a long-distance relationship that will lead to marriage. A casual browse through dating websites, particularly those based in the US, and you will see many similar posts from women looking for an “Irish prince” or a “gorgeous Gael” to come and sweep them off their computers.
Oh, and one other thing, he must be able to play the bagpipes, or at least enjoy its beautiful sound.” Eh, good luck with that . Generally the stereotyping of the Irish male is stuck somewhere in the 1950s, a land where the men are tall, quiet and gentle, and excel in a natural chivalry.
“I was happy about that and the fact that he was so interested in me.” Her new boyfriend, who was 21, showed his interest by texting Clare frequently.
“Women feel that their privacy has been invaded and that they have no control over their lives.
Women experience anxiety and feel vulnerable and fearful.
To protect them from dating abuse, Women’s Aid is urging the Government to make safety orders available to women who have never lived with their boyfriends.
And technology has given potential abusers even more weapons.